So last year, was a year of its kind. Well all years are….but last year was different. More testing. More strengthening. More taxing. And in some bizarre way, more healing. And in that year I wrote. Endlessly. I wrote to relive. I wrote to help myself understand the twists and turns of life. I wrote because one day I want see myself published and then I wrote some more because I wanted to heal.
And then one day. after having written so much, I put a fullstop to a story that really hasnt ended. But I was tired. And it had started looking monotonous. And I needed feedback. So, I shared the word file with a few people whose opinion mattered and a few whose opinion really didnt matter but its always good to get feedback.
And feedback I got. I was amazed with the varied emails, whatsapp and phones conversations that happened after the people had given it a read. I felt ligher, more at peace and more ambitious.
And then I forgot about it. All my dreams of being published and signing my books for people at the reading sessions just dissolved into thin air. Well, not literally. But yea. A publisher suggested I publish it as an ebook. Another acquaintance said it has no potential right now, but after some reworking maybe it will make it to a press. A friend very strongly emphasized that it should be given a blog format. But all this required time. And as usual life happened on my end. School runs, photography, selling cars. Everyday stuff caught up.
Today, while cleaning the computer, I came across the word document. And I started reading. I am amazed at my ability. As a human being. How pouring the words out there give me peace. Restrengthen my faith and make me miss blogging/writing so much. I dont think that the document will ever be anything more than a document, but hey, I tried, I dreamt. Even though the words didnt manage to change the world, but it changed my world for me.