That tugging feeling

The last school year ended with alot of mixed emotions for Zoey. And for me. Kindergarten was ending. Classes were going to shuffle. Summer school was starting. Plans for vacations were being finalized. Eid clothes were under discussion. There were just too many things to look forward to. Actually, it was all quite overwhelming.

Fast forward to two months later. The vacation has ended. Eid long gone. Countdown happening to going back to school. Again too much happening. The excitement of the new school bag and the new black shoes is brimming. The parents are called for an orientation two days before the school starts for the students. And that was when it all hit me. The fact that Zoey is now a Junior school student. No more wearing white PE shoes everyday. New aspirations. Bigger dreams. New friends. Lots more to learn and explore. As I sat there, during the presentation, I just kept on going back to the day this 1.3 kg child was born. When exactly did she become so big? And where exactly did all the time in between go by?

I did notice that our conversations have taken a different route. We discuss about why we should pray and how can one make a difference. We discuss about bikini vs a diver suit costume. We discuss about why education is important when all one needs in life is to own a caravan and roam about the world. But the enormous-ity of it all was felt on the orientation day. I am very excited about the new things she will learn, new friends that she will make and the new dreams that she will be able to see. But I am also very sad to let go. Let go of her childishness. The innocent conversations that once used to happen. The liberty of me going and picking up clothes without her approval.  And so many more things.

But here’s to wishing her and all the kids the best of luck for all the dreams that they want to make true, for all the skies that they want to fly to and all the new places that they want to explore and wander off to.


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