The miracle called Zoey-ness

7 years ago, today, a very swollen me had gone for my regular pregnancy check up not knowing that I would become a mom at a days notice. Two months earlier than expected.

I remember lying in that beautiful sunny room, praying for a miracle to happen. A miracle that would make my blood pressure go down and would let me resume my pregnancy for the next two months. But god had other plans. Better ones. Zoey came in this world surrounded by family, extended family and friends who are family.

2555 days, and life has just not been the same. There have been moments of utter and sheer joy, moments when I was so overwhelmed I cried, moments when I sat in the locked bathroom just because I wanted 2 mins of alone time and moments when I had it all planned out on how I will leave it all behind and run away. But in all honesty, the moments of love have preceded all else. And here I am writing down 7 points that I have learnt in these past 7 years.

~ People say life changes when you get married. Maybe they are right. But really, change is what happens once you have a kid!

~ Nothing is a biggie. Really. Zoey was 7 months old when she had bad flu. Cough. Stuffy nose and congestion. Vicks and nebuliser were my best friends. And then came along the nasal aspirator.A mother care one. Where one end was put in the baby’s nose and the other end was used by a parent to suck. Yes. That’s what I did regularly. Till one time the boggers came into my mouth. I sucked too hard. But that too didnt make me stop. Yes. very gross. Very very gross.

~ Zoey was a born fussy eater. I was supposed to feed her every two hours. But her feed would last one hour and 42 mins. After roughly 20 mins, the cycle would start all over again. Once she was older, I would strap her down and feed her spoonsful of baby food. Only for her to spit it all out. After almost 4 years of frustration I had learnt that she will only eat what she wants and when she wants. I can only try and introduce different food options to her.

~ Sometimes persistence is not the key. Zoey started to learn french and piano some years back. Initially she loved going for her classes. But slowly, she lost interest. There were tantrums, blackmails, scoldings, but nothing worked. She would go, because she wasn’t given a choice, but she was miserable. We continued week after week, but then we stopped. Our afternoons were spent more happily, reading, painting, crafting and sometimes doing nothing…knowing that there was no piano or french class to go to.

~ Travelling should be a priority. After paying the school fee, the installment for the car and the monthly expenses, anything that is left behind should be saved for travels. Big or small. Travelling with zoey has always been a pleasure. Somehow I feel that after every trip she grows up some more. Yes, mentally and physically.

~ The last two years, post Noor’s birth, me and Zoey had become the best enemies. She thought I was the most horrible mama and I assumed that suddenly she should start acting like shes 12 instead of 5. But then one day it hit me how wrong I was. And I learnt that even though she was older, she was still a child and needed her alone time with me. We both are on better terms now. We use our words to express our feelings. And communicate . Rather than shutting each other out.

~ Lying should be a complete no no. I learnt this the hard way. Zoey had severe constipation issues when she was 3. And sometimes only suppositories would help. And she hated those. Once, only once I told her I was checking something and shoved up a suppository. She’s going to be 7 in a day inshallah and she still remembers that. Everytime she’s doubtful about something she turns to me to ask if I am lying. Its very very hurtful to hear that from her. But I learnt. I use my words more discreetly, but I make it a point to not lie.

Life has been amazing since zoey come around. For everyone reading please say a little prayer for her!

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