Every person has their traits. The good and bad ones. I wish I could say with conviction that I am only full of good ones. But that would be a lie. A big fat lie. Amongst the bad traits the worst one is that I am a bad loser. I dont mean losing out on an argument or a game. But losing out on things that I am attached too and people I cling on to. Closure, for me takes a long long time. I am quite a sob that way.
So, in both my pregnancies, my biggest fear was that I would loose the baby. And let me say it out loud for the first time….I spent quite a few sleepless nights thinking about this. I would make myself miserable thinking about this possibility. And toss and turn thinking about what a wreck I would be if something like this would happen. And how my life would stop and all those endless dark thoughts.
But Allah Mian has been very kind. I did have my rough days, but I cant complain. When I look around me, I see people who have actually lost babies and have moved on so strongly. I have nothing but respect for those mommies. And of course, daddies.
This morning, the first thing on my newsfeed is the link I am sharing below. It has been an emotional start to my day. But I think it has also made me realize how strong people can be and what a miser I can be at times.