Motherhood is a strange strange place to be in. In a matter of 24 hours, it will make me crazy happy, weepy, frustrated, sad and then overwhelmed. There are moments I want to creep under the bed and hide there forever and then there are moments when I will bring Z out of her bed onto mine because I want her close by. Told you, its a strange place to be in.
And sometimes, motherhood will put you in a situation which will make you feel helpless. Thats the situation I have been in since the past few days.
Zoey, has been getting up everyday and crying about not going to school. Thats unlike her. She does not love going to school, but well, neither does she howl and growl about it on a regular basis. Trying to ask her and figure out whats bothering her is a task and a half.
So, one day during play she finally did say why she didnt want to go to school anymore. It was all about the fact that there was no one to play with her during playtime. Now Zoey has always been an introvert and a half. Taking initiative is not her cup of tea exactly. It has taken me all these years to come to terms with this fact.
Me: Zoey, jaani if no one wants to play with you, you go and play with whoever you want to play with.
Zoey: But mama, all the friends are busy playing, how do I go and play?
Me: Jaan, all you have to do is go and say I also want to play.
Zoey: But no one asks me if I want to play.
Me: Maybe, thats because they dont see you.
Zoey: I also dont like to go and play in the sun. I dont like the pasina.
Me: Its summers. Sun will be there and so will be pasina. Its ok. Thats how we all grew up.
Zoey, pensive and tired of this conversation: Hmmm. But I dont want to go and ask to play. (Gets up and leaves the room)
I am heartbroken. For once, I really dont know how to go about something like this. I cant change Zoey’s personality and neither can I force the kids to play with her but till the situation is not resolved, I will feel sad and helpless…