Mothers day confession

Since 30 plus years I have been following the norm of celebrating the mothers day. Initially, it was celebrated because the school made it a point for us to make cards for the moms in the art period. After school, mothers day was celebrated because really, the other of the 364 days I was too busy being a rebel and mothers day was either my way of apologizing or reminding my mom that I still respected her, regardless of how I acted.

It was after shaadi that I actually started understanding the true weight age of what it means to be a mom.

Obviously, some two years and a few weeks ago I was fully hit by what it means to be a mother. Zoey came two months earlier than expected. While we were in the hospital, Zoey was in the incubator, while I was in a room full of flowers and surrounded by people I love. Honestly,  it was nothing less than a fully paid vacation. Endless tv, flowers, people, yummy food, and every now and then a visit to the nicu to remind meo f my status change. I really didnt understand why people complained that their lives changed the minute they delivered. Mine obviously got better once the anesthesia effect wore off.

One week later, I was home with my 3 pounder, totally lost. I didnt know how to behave like a mom. Worse still, I was afraid that because we were getting acquainted after a week of zoey landing in our family, I was sure that we would never ever be “close”.

But one night later it was a different story. Getting up every 2 hours to nurse, burp and change, I knew i was a mom. But what hit me hard was that it took me all this while to understand what it takes to be a mom. I had to have a daughter to truly appreciate my own mother.

What bothered me though was that the journey was a long one. Zoey first goes to school, inshallah, then college, then gets married somewhere along the line, inshallah and then has a baby sometime, inshallah and then truly appreciates me. Damn, thats a long cycle. But well, somethings are just meant to be learnt with the passage of time.

I love you mama. I am sure all the mamas are best, but you are the bestest! Promise!

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