Parenting question no 0422

As the toddler ages, the kind of issues that need to be addressed also changes. The second year started on a tougher note. Zoey needs to be potty trained (my pressure on my self), we need to get rid of her bottles (doctors pressure on us) and we need to teach her social skills.

By nature, Zoey is not much of a people person at this age. I am sure, come school days and hopefully this will change for better. But for now, shes very happy with her people, her things and her space. She likes meeting kids her age, but shes very choosy about the people she wants to hang out with…well, arnt we all?

Since Zoey managed to sit up, we have been teaching her things. manners to be precise. No matter how differently opinionated a couple we are, as parents good manners is our first priority. I dont know how successful we have managed to be, but I guess we are getting there.

Yesterday Zoey had a friend over. Surprisingly, they both got along really well, mashallah. But it was towards the end that her friend started pinching and pushing her. Bullying to be exact. Zoey didnt know how to react. She came to be, all upset. And I tried patching things up.

But it got me thinking of how I need to train her to react to such situations. Her phopoo, strictly told her to hit and pinch back whenever needed. Her dad was also of a similar opinion. Somehow I dont think thats the way to react. But again, I am not the right person. I was never bullied, in family I was not supposed to use my hands with my younger cousins and in friends i dont remember it coming down to this.

This is one of those situations, where wont help, and parenting books will be a total time waster. But if you are reading this an are a parent, what do you suggest. If you are not a parent and still reading this, I woul love to hear your opinion too!


5 thoughts on “Parenting question no 0422

  1. behn.. i have a son.. and for a boy, fighting back is an essential idea that needs to be planted.. and for a girl, i think its most important.. Not because she’ll be fighting other girls, but because she might be fighting men.. and probably will be, on some level or the other..
    my lesson to izdeyar always is- dont hit anyone.. but if they hit you, hit back. it sounds confusing, but i think it gets through..
    you need to do this for her sake, since she is already a shy person, and may be bullied or pressured in different situations.. aren’t we all? and she needs to know she CAN take a stand for herself..
    first step, tell your mom or an adult if someone is hitting or hurting you…
    second step, hit back.

  2. Very nice blog! I believe in Behavior charts. They work like a charm! Give her a star or a heart every time she behaves the way you want her to. Place this chart up in her room’s wall so she can learn to count and get excited about them even more. Every 10 stars should win her a candy or ice cream or exclusive time with mom!!

  3. Pingback: » Parenting question no 0422 « Katillions's Weblog parenting|parenting tips|parenting advice|good parenting:Angel

  4. I guess Zoey should be taught that if she is attacked upon through any means and mode, she needs to indicate to the opponent through her expressions and actions that this isnt on!! and then if need be, she shall fight back or retaliate in the aggressive but least violent way possible.
    She shall learn not to be the victim who is bullied frequently at home/school/public places and since its a bully`s world out there, sitting calmly, being the ‘good one’ doesn`t really help in such situations~

    Happy Training! 🙂

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