Last year today…..I was the most scared being on the face of this earth probably…..I was suddenly being pushed into being a mommy. Though it was me who’s life was in danger…but I was scared for you. I wanted you to be more than ok. As life would have it, you stepped into the world surrounded by family and friends who had taken over the entire dunkin donuts at the hospital. The rest is history. I wanted to write this down for you because right now there is no other way I can communicate my feelings for you.
If I say that the last year was a breeze, it wont be entirely true. There were tough moments. Times like when you were readmitted because of jaundice, I thought a part of me faded away, but because of your energy and spirit, I remained grounded. Also, the past year your dad and I went through choppy waters, you know we were also becoming parents for the first time, so it took us a while to figure out our new roles. But alhumdulillah, today at the one year mark, things are good.
Having you in our life is probably the best thing that could have happened to us….no I dont say this so you can read this and smile later, but I really do mean it. Its really great to see how you have weaved your way into our lifestyles. I wish I could blame you for changing this and changing that, but honestly, nothings changed as such. Everythings just readjusted. And we like it that way. Alhumdulillah you have been a wonderful baby, except the feed times. My god why couldnt you take after your parents where eating is concerned? You really put us to shame jaan….but chaloo as far as you are healthy, that is what really matters. Atleast you wont have to pay dieticians to lose weight! You were also amazing all the times we travelled. You didnt like Nathiagali too much, I think because of the cold weather…like your dad you also believe in dressing minimilistically…..and up there in the mountains I was way too cautious with you. But on our trips to Lahore and Fasilabad, you were a great company. I enjoyed seeing you going beserk happy seeing all those dances and listening to the blaring bollywood songs.
~sigh~ So much for making you listen to all those nursery rhymes and stuff. I have also mentally prepared myself that you are going to follow phopoos league and be a big clothes, shoes and handbag freak. Afterall, woh khoon hai…and there is only so much I can control.
My past year is so full of memories, I dont know what all to jot down here. But one thing I remember oh so clearly is when on the 7th day we came to nanos home from the hospital and dad looked at you and said something about diamonds…..you gave a smile so big, I wanted to dedicate all my jewellery to you, but obvsiouly better sense immediately prevailed, thank god.
Anyways, before I get too emotional and forget to end this letter to you, I must say that I have been so excited for your first birthday that I have been planning it since you turned 9 months. No, its not that I dont have anything constructive to do, its just that I wanted it to be the best birthday for you. I love you…..and seeing you become big and independent keeps me going. I wish you all the best things in the world, be it diamonds or books or both. And oh, I love how you are such an outdoor baby….maybe unlike your dad who didnt get to fulfill his wish, you might end up becoming a national geographic photographer! No No I am not pishing you into becoming one….you can be whatever you want to be, as far as you can sponsor our cruises and all those luxury trips!
I cant wait to earn lots of money and then take you globetrotting. Soon inshallah. Meanwhile you will have to be happy being mama and babas assistant photographer…..and getting kishtoos and hugs as a favour!
Love you jaan….and wishing you a very very very happy birthday!
mama (who also happens to be your work collegue)
ps: Did I tell you that you are the bestest baba in thisa whole wide world?