growing up and losing friends

Back in school days, I was one of those students who was popular because she had friends in all classes and almost all sections. Be it junior or senior, I knew other fellow schoolers because I would exchange books, I loved sharing lunches and if nothing else, I could sit with a total stranger and grumble about how white uniforms never did justice to students who loved playing sports.

As, I reached the senior year in school, i lost that charm of making friends. making focus was now more towards studies and choosing a career. Somehow, by the time I reached university, I was in touch with only a handful of people, but all that was good.

Entering professional life meant meeting new people, making less friends, but more acquaintances….and keeping in touch with the old few friends who knew where you were coming from.

Lately, the realisation has hit me that almost all the “old” friends have just vanished. One friend, completely lost touch after my shaadi….and for a reason which i dont know about. (this friend was one of the close few who also had my mums mobile number, in case of an emergency). I tried getting in touch with her. But I guess she had had enough of me.

Another friend, not from early days, but a good friend nonetheless, also, is totally out of touch. But thats my fault. One day after confessing to me about how bad a friend I have been for not going and seeing his 7 month old baby in lahore, he bought up stuff from the past, that i thought we had resolved. I spaced out for the time I dont come to terms with the fact that I am a bad friend.

No, it dosent end here.

Another friend, whos got married three years ago and has a baby who goes to school, also thinks that I am not a lovely friend because I dont keep in touch, because it is a given fact that due to her being a mom, shes busy…..but i am free.  I should be the one to keep in touch all the time…

The more I think about it, the more assertive it gets that maybe its not them…..its me.

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4 thoughts on “growing up and losing friends

  1. i dont think its a matter of them or you, its a pattern we all go through at some point or other. when you least expect it, lost freind appears and it was like they never went. At times its best to just let things be and carry on. it does com back in some shape or another

  2. timings are different i think in life. you connect with different people at different times especially college and post college years when you actually start becoming the person you might be for the rest of your life. school days i think it was easy to be generic- talk gnerally and be overall friendly.

    sometimes you re-find old friends and sometimes you simply have t make newer ones. but you cant deny the impact almost each and every single one of them has on you…and its not about them or you- its just life i guess.

  3. i didn’t have the school-college-university transition. was still in school when i started working 9 to 5. from hanging out with school friends i was in a world of grownups who took everything seriously and life at work was mostly a matter of life and death. obviously made many new friends and lost countless others- some i bump into now and look through and others i run to hug the moment i catch a glimpse-

    i’ve come to terms with the fact that sometimes our heart and mind act and react on their own- and that sometimes we really dont know any better- as long as i am with people who give a happy-positive vibe and as long as i continue to be that person in someone else’s life too!

    and yaaay for blogspot for introducing me to you, meyum, jammie 🙂

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